I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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