Can i not drive my cunt home
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
