I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
