thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
