He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
