I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize