i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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