dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need to calm my uterus...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
