For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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