There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
