Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize