Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
