I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
