i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
