My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
