I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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