so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
