So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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