i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
