dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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