Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
