I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
