I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
