Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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