I showed him my bush... on skype.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You ate ashes out of my bong
we're so committed to being not committed
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize