is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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