I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
