guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
