Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
