...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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