u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
