hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
