Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
