I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
