Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
