Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
