I want to have your abortion
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
