you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
