i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize