it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
3pm strippers are depressing
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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