talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
