I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
