hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How external is "for external use only"?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
