my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
