When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize