I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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