i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
