What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
