I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
