and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize