Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
As shirtless as possible
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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