sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My friends, they love my intelligence
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize