I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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