I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize