It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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