I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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