Your face is a jimmy john
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
