i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
