its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
