The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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