I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Who did Billy Mays play for?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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