Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
