i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize