First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
