Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Small penises have feelings too.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
