Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
