After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
