That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
